How to be a Jewish Shomer (Best Man)

Written by: Moshe Rubin

What is a Shomer?

In Hebrew the word 'shomer" means a guard or watchman. In the context of a Jewish wedding, it refers to the groom's best man. The Shomer's main task is to make sure the Groom (Chatan) gets to his wedding as worry-free as possible.

The counterpart of the Shomer is the 'Shomeret', the Jewish best woman. Her job is similar to the Shomer's: to help the Bride (Kallah) get to her wedding free of worry and stress. Many items in the list below apply equally to a Shomer and a Shomeret. There are, however, issues specific to the Kallah that are not mentioned here. I would be happy to hear from Shom'rot (plural for Shomeret), and would be glad to create another Web page for the Jewish Shomeret.

Glossary of Terms

This document contains many Hebrew and Yiddish terms that may need explanation.  There is a glossary of terms that will clarify these terms (click here).


The evening before the wedding

On the day of the wedding

After the wedding


This probably seems like a lot of work (and it is!). The position of Shomer carries with it a great responsibility: making sure the Chatan and Kallah, king and queen for the week, experience a worry-free wedding. This, in all probability, will be the greatest gift you can give them.

Moshe Rubin
Rechov Shaulson 59/6
Har Nof, Jerusalem 95400


I'd like to thank Reuven Engelberg (of Har Nof, Jerusalem) for introducing me to the art of being a Jewish Shomer, and for teaching me how to carry out this important 'mitzvah'.

Other References

© Moshe Rubin 2006-2009. All rights reserved.

Last updated: 12 November 2018